Random Conversations #002

President Bush on CBS News.

Q: What’s your advice to the average American who is hurting now, facing the prospect of $4 a gallon gasoline, a lot of people facing –

MR. BUSH: Wait, what did you just say? You’re predicting $4 a gallon gasoline?

Q: A number of analysts are predicting –

MR. BUSH: Oh, yeah?

Q: — $4 a gallon gasoline this spring when they reformulate.

MR. BUSH: That’s interesting. I hadn’t heard that.

Will & Rachel Conversation #003

RACHEL: Why am I always on your blog?

WILL: I don't know. You're funny.

RACHEL: If you're going to put me up there, could you at least not make stuff up.

WILL: I didn't make anything up.

RACHEL: Yeah, you did. That whole WE thing with sports. I didn't say you shouldn't say WE. I said that I thought it was
WEIRD for you to say WE.

WILL: Silence

RACHEL: I did say that, didn't I?

WILL: Uh, I don't know. I don't remember.

RACHEL: Dammit... I don't know!

WILL: SEE! YOU COULD'VE SAID IT!

RACHEL: Dah, fuck it, write whatever you have to, to make your point.

WILL: Thanks.

The Cleanse is Over

Rachel: Why do you sound mad?
Will: I'm on a cleanse.
Rachel: What the fuck does that mean?
Will: I'm only eating fruits, vegetables and oats?
Rachel: silence.
Will: I'm doing it wrong, aren't I?
Rachel: silence.
Will: I'm a moron, right?
Rachel: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

So the cleanse is officially over. Yay!

I made it three days! Three days! I now have a little more respect for vegans... just a little.
But really, that was hard. Last night I walked into Hutson's apartment and put a bunch of tortilla chips in my
mouth. Crunched. Thought. Whipped around to his trash can and spit it all out. And then I washed the salt out
of mouth. And then I ate... surprise vegetables! And last night while I was sleeping I started to get real light headed and started to think that if I had a sweat tent like Locke I could have some crazy delusions that might help me divine the future and get a greater understand of the universe and all that stuff. And then I slept. And it was over.

But really, what did I learn from the cleanse.

1. I don't really need coffee. I had my suspicions in the past from being sick, but I made it through. Now, I thought about not drinking anymore coffee, cutting it off (but well the only thing I've ever cut off from my life has been Diet Coke, and I only replaced it with coffee) but that seemed silly, and people know me as a coffee drinker and I don't want to blow people's minds too much.

2. I can lose a bunch of weight real fast. Now I haven't lost too much weight, which means I'm doing pretty good in the weight management department (yeah right, tell that to the swimsuit) and I only lost 4 pounds. I'm sure I'll gain that back pretty fast.

3. I really think that I might have a fresh perspective on Food and Taste and what is important and not important. Important - Salad Dressing. Not Important - Salad.

4. I now know how to save money when I travel into a foreign country. Don't eat!

5. And finally, to wrap this up, if I ever do a STUPID MOTHER%*&^NG CLEANSE AGAIN I will call Rachel and ask her very clearly what I still need to keep eating to feel whole and alive and be able to do thing other then feel like crap and complain.

The Cleanse

Hola Amigos!

Last Saturday (at some point) I decided that I should go on a cleanse. I was feeling sluggish and tired and sinusy and slow and felt like since in California Winter should be ending soon, that I should cleanse for spring.

And no, it's not the Honey/lemon cleanse. No, it's a Go Back to Nature Cleanse. No coffee, no black tea, no bread, no cheese and no meat. Just fruits, vegetables, oats and tea.

Day 1. I was hungry as spit. All day. And then at night I had a tomato broth and it really hurt my stomach, acids or something went crazy!

Day 2. I went crazy. I thought I was turning into a vegetable. I had some oats before Yoga and then felt pretty good. Those amazing organic oats! But after yoga class, I left the building to the fantastic smell of Italian food. I had one of those Ratatouille moments, where all I could see was a mountain of chicken,eggplant parmesan and fried mozzarella and bread! I regained composure and went home only to find my roommate, eating Salad with Caesar dressing and he was making garlic toast and his friend had dropped off cake and chocolate donut bites. It just wasn't fair. But it wasn't worse then the Italian food. I had tomato broth and snow peas.

Day 3. Today. I can't say for sure if I feel better. I'm very tired, kind of numb, and I had a dream that I was on the X-Men and I had Iceman's powers. And by the way that is kind of awesome. I will try to describe this dream later.

Anyway, today I will attempt to again be good and not crack. This is the ultimate test of will power. Er, okay maybe not the ultimate, but it's still hard.

Random Quotes #004

Tina Fey on Saturday Night Live "Weekend Update"
speaking on Hilary Clinton.

"Bitches get SHIT done!... Get on board Ohio & Texas. Bitch is the new black"

Myspace with a Vengeance Update

Hello friends!

Turns out this whole debacle about me not remembering her and me hating her and me wondering why well it really was a whole lot about nuthing. Wrong Guy. Maybe this other Will guy would have remembered her. Good old Brandi feels like a "douche bag" and I don't blame her. Now she's the one that doesn't quite remember me, after I spent all that time trying to remember her. Hah... if I only had a yearbook.

The 6th man

Ah... Being a fan... it sucks.

I got into an argument with Rachel (insert punch line) which started from her getting on my case because I described the a deal that the Wizards made with a WE. As in I was part of the team, like I owned it or played for it.

Ahh... I argued back that she wasn't a true fan, she didn't know more then like 3 names of the Giants and other teams. I'm like then obviously you can't claim any ownage.

The truth is that when you're a dedicated fan, you are part of the team. And in many cases you will always be a part of the team, after players and coaches have come and gone, you're still there. You carry it with you until you die. It is a love. A stupid irrational love. Doesn't make any sense on a logical level.

Honestly, right now, I'm watching the Wizards struggle against a Cavalier team that is missing like 6 players due to injuries and trades, and of course they're still in the game. They have Lebron James, their best player. And we are missing our two best players. We've got Rookies and Journeymen playing like chickens out there. And I feel sick. Of course, I'm also sick because I have to hear Lebron this and Lebron that and oh man isn't he so great. Look at how he makes everyone better.

But I digress. The only good thing, I suppose is that these players will get to play a little while the starters are out and you can figure out who is actually good and that SPELLCHECK still think Lebron is a misspelling of Lebrun.

All in all, I just wanted to talk about being a fan. Are ya'll fans of anything? Where when their good you're with them and w when they're bad you feel sick, and mad when they play stupid, where every little trade, defensive switch, piece of news is invaluable to your day to day.

And that's why I say WE.

Myspace with a Vengeance

Hello Friends,

This morning I got the cryptic message from some girl called Crazy Babies. It said "What's your last name?"

And I was like why is this girl asking me what my last name is? Then I went to her page and started looking around. Okay, she's my age, she went to a nearby highschool, oh dear, did I, wait I didn't, who is this, but WHY do I kind of recognize her... there is something about her. Oh and she has like 2 or 3 babies. Right on.

So then I responded "How cryptic? What's your name?"

Then I get back, "Do you really want to know... how haunting is this? You know me, or at least you should remember me. Brandi Grey who u HATED in school? no complex though, haha."

And in my head, I'm like WHAT???WHO??? HATED!!! I can't even remember this girl. And then we sent some back and forths, and I was like why would I hate you and then she didn't respond to that, but we messaged a little bit, and I still couldn't remember and then she asked me THE QUESTION 

"So what has the last 12 years done to you or atleast what have you done? "

hehe... I have not replied to this yet, but I have asked her for some kind of event or something to jog my memory of her, and then after I sent that, I suddenly had some mental picture of this girl pop into my head, and I'm like OH YEAH.... I think maybe I do kind of remember her, and I don't remember hating her.... yeah... 

Tomorrow I think we will get to the bottom of this, but for tonight I will think on how bad my memory is and why is that she thinks I hated her. Now I will admit to you, that I've had my moments, but HATE... hmmm.... So again, tomorrow I will find out some more about Brandi Grey and You, my friends, will get to here my Myspace response to, "So what has the last 12 years done to you atleast what have you done?"

Stay tuned....

Random Quotes #003

Shaquille O'Neal on his role with the Phoenix Suns.

"I'm more like a senior adviser so I don't like to come in here and try to take over... Just like your basic karate movie where the young guys come to the old guys with beards who have them do weird stuff to get to the other side. That's who I am, the old guy with a long beard."

Thrillertime

Since the time I've been on Planet Earth, there are really 2 Michael's that will never be replaced, Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson. 

They were at the top of their game and ridiculous. People were always like "This kid is the next Michael Jordan." and they're really happy and then in the late 90's people were like "This kid is the next Michael Jackson." and they were like uh no... no thanks. And then Justin Timberlake and Usher came along and were like "Yeah, that's cool, we'd like to be like Mike, with the exception of all that other stuff." So Michael got himself an asterisk.

This month marks THRILLER's 25th anniversary.

And it is not a time to criticize and mock and laugh and maybe feel sad for Michael Jackson. No, It is a day to celebrate the iconic lines from Wanna be Startin' Somethin' - "You're a vegetable." "YOU'RE A VEGETABLE!" and all of the other great things about THRILLER and a time to take a stroll down memory lane.

When I was 4 years old, we lived in an apartment complex called PEPPERTREE in Aspen Hill, Maryland. This was around the time my brother was scared of the dark. Anyway, I remember going upstairs to my neighbors apartment, it was a teenage girl, and I think she was our Babysitter and I remember she had the THRILLER record and we would listen to it and I would cover my ears at the end of the Thriller because the video had scared the bejesus out of me. I loved that album. If you go into our family photo albums,  there are many pictures where Joe and I are wearing Michael Jackson jackets and vests. It's pretty funny. 

In celebration of this album I downloaded it and have been listening to the Album for the past week. I quote Kanye West "Right when magazines wrote Kanye West off, I dropped my new shit sound like the best of." Well, this CD sounds like a a Greatest Hits album. It's not cohesive at all. It starts off right, with "Wanna be Startin' Somethin'" and then it just goes off in different directions. And it's short. There are only 9 songs. Of the 9, the only one that I really cringe listen to is "The Girl Is Mine" with Paul McCartney and symbolized a lot of what I think we hated about 80's music. BUT DAMN, listen to "Human Nature", that songs lays the blue print for what would become the dominant sound of R&B. All you gotta do is speed it up and add a rap verse to the middle 8 or bridge and you'd have most of the slow R&B songs today. Dude, there is NE-YO without Human Nature.  THIS WHOLE ALBUM is a blueprint. Sorry Jay-Z. I realized most of the Janet Jackson CDs completely ripped off the formula. It's frightening. And it's original.

Some reviewers have said that BAD was a better record and maybe it was, but Thriller was the last time Michael sounded right, lyrically and vocally.  On this album, his singing sounds so good, it's sick. He's like a rubber band. He does all the background vocals and their perfect. By the time BAD happened he was pretty white and his trademarks started taking over for his old naturalism. He's all HE-HE's and soft to hard soft singing, although some of those songs are really really good. But Thriller was the culmination album. I ask you all to listen to the album with earphones on or in a room with really good speakers. You will really understand the triumph of this album and the work of Michael Jackson and Quincy Jones. The horn section, the synthesizers, the way that Michael's voice washes over from left to right and all those fantastic sounds that ping pong across the sound field. It's magnificent.

BAD would begin Michael's internal fight with himself, his sound, his fame, and his fans. I mean, he closed BAD with the song "Leave Me Alone", really? Oh it was a fast slope. Not like Britney's 90mph waterslide ride, but it was more bizarre. Whatever. This isn't about that.

Oh great, I just got made fun of for listening to this. Okay, switching over to George Clinton. At the same time THRILLER came out, George released "Atomic Dog" which well influenced that other great art form, RAP.

Good times!