Random Conversations: 06 Aka: That is so Gong.

My Computer died again. I think some of you know that. So today I was getting all of my emails back into my Mail program and I decided to email a friend I met on the shoot of Sutasi in Asian. Her name was Beth and it kicked off this random/wacky/ridiculous conversation. AS FOLLOWS:

Will Said:
What's going on Miss Beth? U still on safari?

Beth said:
hiiiiiii willllll :)
i added you on facebook...im in london, dying with no work, looking at NYC as a possible destination next...

Will Gong wrote
Hey Beth, what do you do again? Other then make DD think things he probably shouldn't? Does that go on your resume?

Beth Shulman wrote
Can you find me a job with that? i can perform the same act on other people ;)
...that and production coordinate at the same time....yes, im a complete multitasker.

Will Gong wrote
I'll look into it... and definitely give a glowing recommendation if anyone asks.

- Rebecca was video chatting with Beth and decided to join in.

Rebecca wrote on your Wall:
"we are talking about you Wiiiiiiillllll! What is up? How is life in LA?"

Beth wrote on your Wall:
"hiiiiiii willlllllllllllllllllllllllll becca and i are video ichatting at the moment- we dont live together as she has a husband and he doesnt like me much, but maybe thats because we act like we live together :)
Come to london for a visit! better yet, find me a job in nyc!"

Beth wrote on your Wall:
"im so glad we can have a 3-way with Becca. Gong, there is always next time for a bit of adventure. promise :) did you at least have a good time?"

Rebecca wrote on your Wall:
"We definitely think you should come and visit London, although it is a bit chilly and you can't get much for $10.....I think you are better off with a $10 "spa" treatment in Thailand. We have a zoo though...although they don't unfortunately let the elephants run wild in town.
So what did you do on your adventures?"

Beth wrote on your Wall:
"Willlll...we've just created the expression "oh my god thats SO gong"...e.g. "wow that guy wearing the cool sunglasses and bill cosby sweater is SO gong""

Beth wrote on your Wall:
"My gong- becca and i have had more enjoyment from you in the last 15 minutes than we've had in weeks! so glad you've gonged your way back into our lives.:)"

Will Gong wrote
Whoa. Hold on. Expressions with my name really need to be approved by a Gong. What does that even mean? Bill Cosby sweaters. Humph.

Will Gong wrote
Oh right. Yes I did have a good time in Thailand. I got to meet bunches and bunches of people. Some like me, and some that were looking to recruit people to join their spiritual journey's and teaching and whatnot. I also stumbled upon a street filled with massage parlor prosititutes. That was awkward. And generally had a good time when it wasn't raining. Did you enjoy your trip?

Beth Shulman wrote:
oh Gong, i thought you'd be so gonging proud! PLEASE- just think if we use it enough it could be come a term of endearment the world over! BIll Cosby- you know, loveable bill cosby! pretty pretty pretty gonging please...

Beth Shulman wrote
and yes, of course- justin and i attempted to get married while drunk which is a story ill have to tell you sometime...dont worry, he's safe back in new york and well away from the danger that is me. By the by, if you pay more than $10, i heard they do a better "job"...

Will Gong wrote
U almost married skinny jeans? I can see why you'd want to go to NY. Lots more skinny jeans where that one came from. I can see your self esteem has steadily improved since we last talked. I wished that there was a way that you could have more happy times in your life, more GONG really... but alas you're just not good for people (so you say, which is really quite a shame because you are such a good time.)
Oh yeah, if you pay them 30 they'll give you the boom boom. What does Boom Boom mean? Not really sure, but I can guess it has to do with the Big Bang, which supposedly birthed our universe, so the Boom Boom could birth at least a chitlen.

Rebecca wrote on your Wall:
"You have cheered up our whole week!"

Will Gong wrote
I'm so glad I could have cheered up your week. You all have made me laugh (which for some reason I don't think I do that often, I feel like I laugh more at myself then others, is it because the people I'm around aren't funny. do I make it that way? Ack.) but I particularly liked Beth's "Bill Cosby sweater line." although I don't think I dress like Bill, but there are worse things, like having your name turned into an expression.
Hmm... on my adventure. I went to Hong Kong. Stayed in the cosmic guesthouse room, that was the size of my bathroom. Took a shower where I was supposed to poo. Got a lot of cheap massages. Went out drinking until 6 am one night, almost hooked up with a girl, slept in the Bangkok airport. Took a ton of pictures. Went to the Thailand spa. Sat. Watched the Rain. got cheap massages. Stumbled onto the thai massage prostitute street. Watched old men pick up girls. Talked with people. Talked with crazy spiritual people. Talked with crazy people about 2012. Got food poisoning.
I also discovered a love for Lime Juice. And other fantastic things. :-D

Rebecca wrote on your Wall:
"Your trip sounds great and full of all the things a young man should enjoy in SEAsia..... add in a ping pong show and you have done it all! Glad you did not end up in a cult. Be Gongful out there!"

Will Gong wrote
Thank you. And may the Gong be with you. Always.

Random Conversation #05

Will, Mike, and a random lady ride a lift up the Tahoe mountain.


Will, covered in snow from falling and flipping over a mogul, said, "You know, I think sometimes we need to fall down to learn."

Random Lady, "I think you might regret that."

Mike laughs.

Minutes pass.

Will, "Alright, let me try that again. Sometimes I think that we have to attempt to go down a slightly more challenging ski slope, which might incur a fall, so that we can learn how not to fall."

Mike shakes his head.

Random Lady, "Okay, I think that makes more sense, taking the harder slope, will let you know what you are and aren't good at."

Will, "Yeah, exactly."

Random Conversations #004

Earlier in the Herzog kitchen, during an escalating battle of words over the quality and usefulness of drinking milk, the follow exchange occurred:

David Holland - Milk is like animal juice.
Will - But blood IS animal juice.
David Holland - I'd rather drink blood then milk.
Josh Rosenfield - But milk makes your bones stronger.
David Holland - Well, milk may make your bones stronger, but blood makes your dick harder.

Random Conversations #003

It was Wednesday morning. I had on my sunglasses. I had my music blaring and windows were down.
I was cruising through Hollywood, turning onto La Cienega from Sunset when it happened.
I stopped at a red light and this bizarre looking girl ran up to my window. We shall call her Girl.
She was a round faced girl wearing round glasses. Her brown curly hair was cut low. She was wearing a brown fuzzy jacket, the
kind of thing you expect to see at a liberal arts college in December or any hostel around the world.
She knocked on my window.

GIRL: Hey do you think you could give me a ride down to Wilshire? (five blocks away)
WILL: Uh, okay.

The Girl gets into my car. She settles in. She didn't put on her seat belt and started looking at me all curious like. For a second I thought she was new age hippie granola chick that liked to pick up rides just to meet people and go on adventures. I wasn't in the mood for an adventure and I sure don't like being looked at like I'm under a microscope and she was doing exactly that.

WILL: So where are you from?
GIRL: I'm from West Hollywood?

And then I knew we had a problem.

GIRL: Where are you from?
WILL: I'm from Virginia.
GIRL: Oh my brother's been to West Virginia.
WILL: That's cool.
GIRL: So where are you going?
WILL: I have a meeting in Beverly Hills.
GIRL: Oh yeah, what for? What do yo do?
WILL: I'm a DVD producer and we're going to talk about some pitches and stuff.
GIRL: Cool. I love DVDS.
WILL: So uh, what do you do?
GIRL: I sleep with people for money.
WILL: Oh, right on.
GIRL: Yeah, I use the whole "catch a ride" to avoid the cops. It just looks like I'm hitchhiking.
WILL: That works. Really?
GIRL: Yeah, it's great!
WILL: I can't believe that... And you do well?
GIRL: Yeah, I do great.
WILL: ....
GIRL: You know, I've had the chance to do a lot of drugs, a lot of hard core drugs, but right now, you know I'm just sticking to marijuana.
WILL: Well, that's good.
GIRL: Yeah. So do yo want A TEN-DOLLAR-FUCK?
WILL: Naw...
GIRL: Are you gay?
WILL: Naw...
GIRL: Do you have a girlfriend?
WIll: Nope... I'm just not into it.
GIRL: Ok?
WILL:...
GIRL: So where's you're meeting?
WILL: Down Wilshire.
GIRL: Cool.

The conversation begins to linger. I think about pulling over and kicking her out; she's exuding all kinds of nasty energy, and I want nothing to do with. But no, I'm a man of my word, I'll take her to Wilshire. She helps me make a slightly dangerous driving maneuver and I come to a stop on Wilshire.

GIRL: Sure you don't want to fuck?
WILL: Yeah, I'm sure.

The Girl opens up the door.

GIRL: Later.
WILL: Good luck.

The Girl leaves. I see her make a move towards a pick up truck and then I drive away. I look up at God and shake my fist. He was fucking with me, again, and he was having a good laugh about it.

This was all true.

Random Conversations #002

President Bush on CBS News.

Q: What’s your advice to the average American who is hurting now, facing the prospect of $4 a gallon gasoline, a lot of people facing –

MR. BUSH: Wait, what did you just say? You’re predicting $4 a gallon gasoline?

Q: A number of analysts are predicting –

MR. BUSH: Oh, yeah?

Q: — $4 a gallon gasoline this spring when they reformulate.

MR. BUSH: That’s interesting. I hadn’t heard that.

Random Conversations #001

Will and Gabe walk to the Staples Center to see the Wizards play the Clippers...

WILL: When I talk to the Doctor about genetically modifying my children, I'm gonna ask him to make them 6feet2.

GABE: Why not make them taller, like 6feet8?

WILL: I don't know... I think I'll just wait and see what Hutson does.