A Bag Lunch Life

I sometimes feel like the Biggest Fool is the one with the Biggest Dream. And right now, I feel like a moderately big fool.

For instance, I haven't worked Full time in two months, because I've been writing like a mad man, because I want to be a writer. But in following this dream, I had to plan to start sacrificing the free wheeling luxury lifestyle I've lived so thoroughly over the last 3 years. That meant, means no more crazy meals, no more eating out lunch, no more helping out family, no more vacations. I've been in lockdown mode for months leading up this and will be in it for months following this, when I have to go back to doing something stable for a little while, but knowing that I have to prep another intense writing period.

Seriously, from now on out, It's a Bag Lunch Life.

People talk to me of the stress and the pressure of not having full time employment, but what people don't understand is the stress and the pressure of not following your dreams. It's like having a volcano in your gut, a fire that will never go out, it just burns and burns until you do what it's telling you to do. And right now, it's to write now, and to worry less about the money thing and the security thing and just ride it out.

And maybe one day, soon or not, a fire with a different flame will emerge and make me change my ways or push me into a new direction, and when that day comes, I'll change my ways.