Ameritrek Watch 2009

News Night In America Jingle.

Fade to:

Good Evening America, This is John Johnston Daniels the Third.

In tonight's special segment on Ameritrek, we'll bring you all the relavent information on Will Gong's Trip Across AMERICA! Stay Tuned.

Commercial Break: A Skinny, Bald Asian Man walks through a room of practicing Yoga Students. His Smile is spiritual, but warm.

"I've been a Yoga teacher for five years now, some of you know me as Marisha NakaDu Kwan, but you can call me Kwan. As a yoga teacher, I can't tell you how excited I am about so many Americans picking up Yoga."

The Class moves together through a Vinyasa.

"But I'm here today to tell you that Yoga isn't safe."

A Man Cries out and reaches for her Lower back.

"You have to be in amazing shape if you want to do this."

A Woman balances solely on her head.

"And sadly most of you aren't."

Another Woman crumbles to the floor.

"This isn't to say that you will never be able to do this."

A Man holds himself in handstand as his legs fall back into scorpion.

"But most of you are going to look like this."

A Man's lays on his mat, barely conscious

"So please, keep coming, cause we love our money, and please keep buying our insanely marked up eco friendly mats, because it's good for you and it's good for the world. Namaste."

Voice Over: This public service announcement has been brought to you by the "Friends Of Rachel."

News Report Returns:

We're back, I'm John Johnston Daniels the Third. And this is Ameritrek! 2009!!!

He's been seen in Seattle, Washington smelling fruit at a Market. He's been seen in Olympic National Park, talking philosophy with a group of Germans in the Sol Duc Hot Spring, and worst of all is the picture that Paparazzi grabbed of him sneaking into a Twilight themed Gift Shop in Forks, Washington. And now it's been reported that Will Gong has been spotted driving along Going To The Sun Road in Glacier National Park in Montana.

What is it that Will Gong is doing up there, well that is exactly clear? Jo Jo Rawlings is in Montana.

"Hi J.J.D. According to local eye-witness witnesses, Will has been hitting up the saloons, spending thousands of dollars on girls and booze.

Another EyeWitness says and I quote, "He sleeps all day and only comes out at night, and then he runs out of that hostel he's staying at naked, and I swear I can hear him in those woods, but I really can't say what he's doing."

And a third account comes from Cody, a Physics student coming from Portland Oregon. He says, "Will Gong you say. Well, I don't know about the Gong part, but we did run across this guy, all by himself, sitting on a rock on the hike up near the chalet. Yeah, he joined our group as we headed up to the mountain pass to see the glacier. Cool Guy, except for his weird third person expressions. I don't really understand that. Oh and he worked on Pirates 3. Nobody liked that movie."

When it comes down to it, any of these could be the truth, your guess is as good as mine. Back to you John."

And there you have it. Will Gong. A Man of Mystery. What will he do next? And what is he doing right now? You be the judge.

And until next time; this is John Johnston Daniels the Third. Good Night and Buenas Noches.