You Will Witness

Dear Friends,

This evening I was sitting in class. Yes, I go to a class if you missed that. Er... if I wrote about it. I may have mentioned it (class is good by the way, thanks for asking.) So there I was sitting in class, doing some workshopping, talking about show ideas for "Everybody Loves Raymond" and I get a text message. Now, I'm pretty sure it's going to be from Hutson, so he can tell me how awesome "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" is, which for me will probably be "Forgetting that the stars in this are stars in 2 of my favorite shows, one not named Sarah, but Veronica and the other named Marshall." Anyway, so I go to my phone and I see a new text message, but it's not from Hutson, no it reads: YOU WILL WITNESS.

And then I blurt out "SON OF A BITCH!" and I realize the text message is from Shannon Blanks and this is in reference to the Washington Wizards playing the Cleveland Cavaliers again for the third year in a row, and, AND the NIKE Lebron James "Witness" marketing campaign, which by the way is kind of fucked up now, more fucked up really, now that I think about it, because his nickname is "King James", which he grossly calls himself the King in third person, anyway, but so the NIKE campaign had "KING JAMES" like the Bible being WITNESSED, just like all the Christians are witnesses to Jesus, and in one of the ads had Lebron James run down the court and then turn into a LION, which if ya'll are familiar with some Christian texts and the Chronicles of Narnia, is the animal representation of GOD.

Anyway, backing up from my tangent, I hate the Cleveland Cavaliers, and Shannon hasn't contacted me in many many many moons, fortnights, etc al. And he texts YOU WILL WITNESS. Great reintroduction. Well, we'll see how this turns out, but fuck it, bring on the Cavaliers, I hope they prove all the Witnesses wrong, and Charles Barkley wrong and go out and kick the Cavaliers asses.

And some of you accused me of being dramatic.