QUOTES from the 2000

Some Amazing/Slightly Revealing Quotes from my Journals from 2000-2004.

Well, I am now Will ~ BJ Gong 2001

I hope you never feel this shitty ~ Will Gong 2002

We are our own answers ~ Will Gong 2003

I hate Avid ~ Will Gong 2003

Women are meant to be loved, not understood ~ Oscar Wilde (A Long time ago)

Listen to the Dead ~ Mike Smith 2003

Last night, I sunk to a new low in Compound Misery ~ Will Gong 2003

I almost died on a Rugrat Vitamin ~ Will Gong 2004

Why do we have to make order out of things immeasurable? BLAH!!! But I’m happy to be alive, because I have nothing else to do. ~ Will Gong 2004

A Look Back at 1999

So a little history, at the dawn of this decade er 1999, I was a:
- Community College Student
- Waiter. Lifeguard.
- Living at home in Virginia.

Today I am a:
- Occasional Part time Student.
- Writer/Producer/Editor thing
- Los Angelinos.

Huh. Okay, that seems pretty interesting, but it’s not really painting a very clear picture.

Interests in 1999.

- Movies & Music & Books.
- Frappachinos.
- Weight Lifting.
- Girls

And here is a list of my favorite things from that time period. (Another choice journal entry.)

A List of Favorites from 2000.

Spinning Fast on things in parks; The Rock Cliffs in Nahant, MA; Skiing; Waking up in a tent covered in Snow
Being on stage, Sailboat Wars; The Ocean; Driving to new places; Finishing Stories
Fight Club; The Matrix; The First 3 Star Wars
The Prydain Tales; Clive Barker Books; Persuasion – Jane Austin; The Count of Monte Carlo
Surviving Car Accidents
Discovering the Beatles; R&B, Pink Floyd, Aerosmith, Dr. Dre, Tim McGraw, Oasis, (What did I disown Shania at some point?)
Making 200 in a day at Glory Days
Les Miserables; Singing
Playing in Freshman Football Games; A Killer hot streak shooting the Basketball
Young Life Summer Camps; Camping; Hot tubs; Sneaking out at night
Being Pulled over is Fantastic
Starbucks!
The Pool.
Women.

All right, that helps fill in a little bit, but you may want some historical context. So, let Me Take You Back. Way Back.
Back into time.

In 2000 there was no, Kanye, no White Stripes, no Kelly Clarkson. There was really no Coldplay. Think about that, a world without Coldplay, and for a second when you think, hey maybe that’s not bad, remember, it was a world of the Backstreet Boys, of Creed, of Limp Bizkit. LIMP BIZKIT!!! I mean, hell, I still had hope Oasis might make a good record again. Oh, and I was obsessed with Shania Twain.

In 1999, I was making fun of Harry Potter! Making fun of Harry POTTER.
In 1999, I was bench pressing 160, and feeling really good about it. Most of my meals consisted of restaurant food, fast food, and frappuchinos.
In 1999, I was chasing after a lot of girls, especially the unavailable type of girl.

I was working at Glory Days Grill, deciding what college to go to, and doing a good bit of underage drinking. I was going to Northern Virginia Community College, and my GPA was stellar, so I could pretty much have my pick of schools, at least the ones I wanted to apply to.

At the same time, I was really uncertain of where my life was going; I knew I had to go, but I didn’t really want to. I didn't really have any life ambition, other than to probably hook up. My Dad was going to foreclose on the house and my Mom was going to get the boot. I had no idea what my brother was gonna do, but he was annoying. But on the other hand, I was a big fish in a small pond at the restaurant. I had a great group of coworkers and we had a great time. How was anything going to compare with that? And at the same time, I didn't want to get stuck. I wanted more, I just wasn't sure what more.
It was a crazy time for sure.

So what happened between then and now? Well, I’m glad you asked.

The Most Important Events of the 2000’s…

The B.J. Gong Journal 2000

An Journal Essay from Jan. 2000. I have no idea what this was for.

“Over the last year and a half at Northern Virginia Community College, I’ve seen a few things. I’ve seen a man watch his life and dreams fall away in the wasteland of a mall booth. I’ve watched underage athletes drink themselves into being fat men by 21. I have seen women destroy lives by getting pregnant and vice versa, just to give their lives meaning. And I have seen men, women, and children lives who are so stuck in self imposed misery that they have become soulless vessels.”

“ What I’ve learned from all that I’ve seen is that there are no guarantees. No faith, belief, religion or institution will guarantee happiness. It’s all how you live it. But what separates most of the successful people I seem to know is a college education.”

Hmm… I feel like this is missing a conclusion. What did I think, oh well, I guess I’ll have to go get a college education now. Okay. Weird.

Well, let me respond to myself here.
“Over the last ten years, I have seen people’s lives destroyed, but I have also seen people’s lives reborn. I don’t think you need a college education to be successful, I think you can do whatever you want as long as you’re willing to fight for it. So Fight.”

The End of Decade: The Blog Returns for now

END OF THE DECADE: 2000-2009

So I’ve been told (Hutson) that the decade does not really end until 2011 begins, well, you know, when a new number rolls in I can’t help but get nostalgic, especially since, I pretty much enter a new number at the same time. So, alas, My 20’s, we have a little under 5 months left together.

So to commemorate this, I’ve decided to get back onto the the blog and write up a few on some of the things that have been going through my (now) old head. Because, really, what better time to look back on who I was and see who I am.

Nutz! The End of Hulu?

Okay, so I remember about two Years ago, I heard of this wonderful little idea that someone had called "HULU" I remember signing up for the beta testing version of it, and watching old Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes and some Burn Notice. But then I got real busy, and then Hulu really launched and it became the SHIT! Everyone loved it, and it was the toast of the people's people. And subsequently, it might have started killing TV stations and TV shows.

Well, it's all done now. In 2010, Hulu Starts charging. The Networks have had enough, they need more money so they can make more bad shows, and bad reality shows. So, Hulu, Adios.

The Dream Box

One day, her Father presented her with a box,
Glittering of Gold and sparkling of Emerald.
He said, Daughter what I give you today,
Cherish forever, for it is a Dream Box.
Daddy, what is that? As she held her hands out,
Her palms barely big enough for a platform.
It is a place for wonders, it is a place for desire,
For all the things you will ever ask or ever wonder.

Daughter opened the box, and a fairy came out.
She spun and she danced and off the girl pranced.

And as his little Girl ran off, a tear formed in his eye,
For he knew that the Dream Box was a lie. The box
Was a box, but it's four walls the life about her.
A magical dancing fairy, spinning through a lifetime
Of fantasies she would conjure up to thrive.
Fighting the cruel hand of fate, for her to survive,
Sometimes those dreams would have to die.

Have I Returned?

I haven't blogged since I was in Toronto. I kind of made a decision that if continuing the blog was too draining or became too big a deal for me to do, I'd just drop it, and that happened. And it happened right around the time I got to Montreal. At that point everyday became an adventure, wrapped up in events that I wasn't entirely in control of.

And once, I left Montreal, I kind of felt like I'd gotten everything I wanted out of the trip and that I was ready to go back, of course I still had three to five more weeks left. And hopefully, I'll get to recapping some of what happened during those few weeks. But for now, I will leave you with this.

Home

Home is a funny thing, conceptually, and like so many words and concepts, as you separate from what you know and fling yourself out into the world, meanings and beliefs twist and reshape, but here’s what I’ve come to think about when I think of home.

Home is home; you know what it is and what it isn’t. Home is where you rest. Home is not just the place you pay rent, it extends out from where you are temporally to where you are spiritually. Home is where your friends are; it’s where your family is. Home doesn’t mean you’re happy, it doesn’t mean you’re comfortable, it doesn’t even mean you have to feel anything. Home is where you can go into the kitchen, pull a cup from the cupboard, and make yourself some tea without ever having to ask. Home can live on in your imagination and live up to your dreams. Going home can be like getting a hug and then getting slapped, or vice versa. Home is a place where you can find love, a place where you can be a bastard, and a place where you can make a huge mistake and still hope to be forgiven, which is why you made that decision in the first place. Home is to be taken for granted, although people are not to be.

A Modern Spin

Falling backwards onto the bed, plugged into the newest sound,

We celebrate the comings and goings of our age.

For you let the guitar strings pluck your heart and soul,

As the beats pump the blood through ya' veins.

While, the piano sweeps from side to side caressing your brian,

All the Neurons dance to the sound from those tiny speakers.

Thoughtlessly, you open your mouth, singing along to the

Words that hold no meaning but mean everything, all at once.

Never Alone, we do this together, night after night. Passing out,

To the UpsandDowns and joys of life forever and ever.

Bojangling in Plymouth

Today is a quintessential Ryan Adams day. Dreary, misty, rain is a certainty and I know that the Sun isn’t going to come out and save me. I couldn’t sleep last night, body tired from too much, and too little, and from slipping in and out of time, and I couldn’t do anything. Sleeping in the suburban hidey-hole that my friend has crafted for his life.

So now I’m just kicking it in this coffee house, where the bathroom is painted like a tree house. Such a cool coffee house, makes me wonder what the hell is wrong with Los Angeles for not having anything so conceptually interesting yet simple, intricately crafted and at the same time so funkily bohemian. This is Plymouth, Michigan. Just chalk it up to one more thing that is wrong with Los Angeles.

I know I’ve got to go to Toronto, cause I booked housing, but I really don’t want to go anywhere or do anything. This feeling is hard to pinpoint, the effect is moodiness and the cause, I’m only half able to understand. It’s more that I really don’t want the present to propel me into the future, cause I don’t feel anything is really worth going towards. I know this moment will pass, and I’m not bummed by it, I just don’t want it and don’t want to do anything. I feel no excitement and I have no idea what might snap me out of it.

See a Ryan Adams day ain’t just about listening to Ryan Adams songs. It’s really about being locked into the mindset that so many of his songs take place in, and then his songs actually become uplifting, even the depressing ones. It’s not that I’m not excited about all the amazing things I am going to see, experience, it’s just that I can’t feel a damn thing. No Matter how much coffee I drink. It’s not that I hate all of the Los Angeles Coffee shops, it’s just that nothing is good enough when you feel like this. And even if I could muster an intention for today, I wouldn’t feel good about it, it’d just be, “meh.”

But I don’t feel too bad about this, because I know it will pass, in an hour, a day, hopefully not much longer, but it will and I’ll feel the inverse and it will be amazing. I think that’s just how it works. So just know, that right now, in this coffee house in Plymouth on a rainy Monday morning, I’m smirking.

So Close to the Sun

When you’re so close to the sun and driving high,

You don’t see that the wheels are falling off.

So Long as you keep moving you feel free,

But you can’t fight mother Earth, for her

Bountiful Clouds drown out the sky.

And I can’t slow down and I can’t see,

I want to be lifted up, taken from here,

To dissolve into the atmosphere and take my last breathe.

Where possibilities are endless because there is nothing.

Yet my old friend the sun brings me back.

He hates being alone up in these mountains,

Washing over the same rocks day after day,

So I ask him the questions of just this day:

Can there be freedom bought from this hopelessness?

And can you find something without looking for it?

And in his light I find the questions. And in his warmth,

I feel love, and his gaze I find the pain. And in his

Endlessness I find an answer.